20120321

Different

Not sure if really "worse" different, though. This morning put on ointment, plastic wrap, sock, shoe: this is the result, 15 hours or so later.
Maybe there are telephone pet psychics? Or some such. If I don't tell them anything, do you think they might be able to channel Matte's spirit--supply a human voice to set me at ease in reference to what SHE wants? so I can be at peace simply fulfilling HER wishes? Could be for her that situation where "for once in my lifetime, you did it right," given how many times I've inexcusably failed her.... It's rather disheartening to consider if "this is all about me" and not about her. I'm too close. I understand that the "ultimate" decision is mine--a responsibility I am certain I will never accept again (got this, completely unwittingly, in 1997)--but I crave some loving counsel....